The Armed Farces: An excerpt from The Harmon Chroniclesb
This morning I woke up feeling like a lean-mean-motherfucking-fighting-machine! Try burning my American flag, asshole! Yes, my friends, I decided to defend the honor of my country -- the United States of America. I found it time to join the military. Maybe I was reeled in by their catchy jingles, fancy slogans and MTV-style commercials. Or perhaps, as we all know, babes love a man in uniform.
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Editor's Note: Not only do we here at FrictionMagazine love to bring you great stories and commentary, but we love to highlight our contributors when they do something other than contribute to our projects. Please welcome Harmon Leon. You may recognize the name as a frequent contributor of fiction to both FrictionMagazine's website and print endeavors. You may find the name synonymous with biting wit and outlandish humor. You may remember the lively descriptions he gives his characters. You may come to love Harmon Leon as much as we do.
STOP #3 -- THE UNITED STATES NAVY
OK, I failed. I didn't realize that in reality, I'm the perfect candidate for the United States military. They're looking for my type -- I'm misdirected, lack discipline, and in bad need of a haircut. Judging by the recruitment process, the US military must be manned by soldiers as highly qualified as I am. A haven for speed freaks looking for a new start and guys from the high school football team who'd get real drunk and break things.