Normally I would be writing you asking for all the goodies I've had my eye on this year. I would ask you for a new sweater and a few CDs, maybe a DVD or two. But this year I am writing you to ask you to get my message out, to help me help.
This year has been the toughest of my life. I have not only experienced personal failure and loss, but I have experienced loss along with everyone else in the world. I am speaking of the events that took place on September 11th and I am sure in your infinite wisdom that you have taken them into account too. I am saying in the season of giving, in the season of dreams coming true, I want to help.
I can remember my childhood so vividly during this season. I can remember how excited I was for Christmas morning and how excited my father and mother were. My brother and I would sit at the top of our steps leaning to the left trying to steal a glance of our living room, trying to see what you had brought us. The rules were strict: we all head down as a family, together. I can remember my father waking up to the sound of my brother and I predicting what you might have brought us, his sleep-weary face covered in smiles. My mother rising after him and donning her terry cloth bathrobe walking out with one hand on her face, the pillowcase still imprinted on her cheek.
I probably didn't appreciate that time then, because I had it and when you have it, you never think it will be gone. But there are so many families this year that may have an empty Christmas, a Christmas missing someone. I want everyone's Christmas to be the best it can be, for children to get what they want, for mothers to breathe easy and rest their bones on a couch while opening the very thing they wanted.
Santa, I want to help. I want to offer you my time. I want to be there for any family who needs a smiling face on Christmas. I want to offer up my Christmas spirit in hopes that although I cannot replace anyone, I can help these grieving families remember that they are not alone. I think that if one person from every family helped a little, if one person put together a bicycle or a toy for some child out there whose family isn't whole any more, than maybe this Christmas can be the best ever.
I am not so sure how my family will react to being without me for Christmas, but I think they will understand. I know of three people, whose families have touched my life, lost in the disaster. I know that those families are strong and loving, but I know that they are missing something. I don't claim to understand that missing piece, but I am steadfast on wanting to help.
Santa, my email is at the bottom of this letter, please give it to all the grieving families and let them contact me if they need some help; if they need someone to carry the tree inside or make the dinner. I might not be the best at all these things but I will do my best. Santa, I know this season is a joyous one, the winter slowly easing into our universe again, the air crisp and cold, the sky pink with hopes of snow. I am sitting here and I know that if I were to help and you were to help and everyone who still believes in hope and miracles can help than we can finally become what we were meant to be since the beginning of time: one family. We are just that, now more than ever, and I will be more than happy to love someone unconditionally this Christmas season.
That is what I want for Christmas Santa, I want to help. I want to be there if needed. I want to be like you and help every single family smile a little easier, breathe a little easier, and have a little better holiday.
Thank you Santa, I know you won't let me down. Merry Christmas.